So it’s that time of the year. How old am I? I think I’ll keep that a secret. Oh yeah I already told you I am a middle aged man. Today I turn 23 + 20 = 43 years old. I put down the 23 because I guess something inside of me feels like I lost 20 years and I should be doing this at 23 years old. Within those lost 20 years lie many of the reasons why I’m a tired middle aged man.
Last night I came home from work a bit on the late side and I was greeted by Virginia in a bad mood. We talked. Actually mostly she talked because I don’t talk that much and I was fairly tired. But the conversation shifted over to kids. We don’t have any kids and admittedly it’s a very emotional and sensitive topic between us. We’ve wanted some. But trying to have kids in your 40’s has been tough for us. It especially hurts when we bump into so many people out there who have kids. I feel like it’s the kids that separate the mentality of a 40 something couple versus a 20 something couple. With no kids you’re like most 20 something couples just looking to do things with lots of time on their hands to socialize and simply hang out. With kids you’re content to close the world around your family and you find all the socialization and hanging out you need just within your family. You also get to join the “have kids” club. At 40 something not being part of this club has put a drain on us. And so the conversation last night felt a bit like the wifely inquisition of “why haven’t you asked me about …” or “It feels like you just ignored ….” And I a bit worn from a fairly intense day at work, not wishing to stir up an argument just listen and as always try my best.
Anyway I’m taking the day off today. I woke up late today. It felt good. But man I felt like I could have slept forever. I’m planning on going out with my Dad this afternoon. It gets me a bit uneasy though because Virginia doesn’t get along very well with my Dad. So in the midst of this uneasiness for them moment I’m not thinking about this plan to try out the get rich online schemes.