So in these past couple of months I’d say that one thing I’ve noticed that’s changed is my fear of my workplace is lessened. I mean I remember getting a phone call at my office a few weeks ago and some ultimately tells me my work is total shit, and he never liked it before I even got started on it. Maybe it was from being chastised verbally so much that I got numb, or maybe I was simply just surrendering and letting go. But what I remember was accepting that my work was shit and listened as the person on the other end of the phone talked himself into supporting my project although with great reservations. I was a bit beside myself as I observed how much I wasn’t too phased by the ranting and complaining over the phone.
So now a couple weeks back from another week at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and I’m finding myself bouncing back and forth between not so interested in my workplace or just tired of my workplace. But it’s not exactly me being defeated, because there’s a bit of an element of me just feeling OK, regardless of what people think of me, or more importantly what I think other people think of me.
My job title is a Six Sigma Black Belt. I supposedly lead two demanding projects. The Black Belt normally evokes expectations of tough, but I’m not tough. Rather I think the title of Black Belt for me allows others I lead to be tough with me. But maybe this is all OK. Maybe it’s actually better than OK.
Or maybe I’m currently delusional and you’ll see me ranting in my next blog post (which at my current rate of posting might be for several months), about having no idea what I was writing about in this blog post. Or maybe I’m currently just writing aimlessly for the sole purpose of recording a blog post in a rather stagnant blog.
Peace man 🙂